


a hard conversation to have

by PrincessSunriseDawn



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, But so is Loki, Discussion of Abortion (kind of?), Eventual Fluff, Fights, Loki is an actor, M/M, Mentions of Abortion (It doesn't actually happen tho), Pepper is There, Pregnant Loki, So much angst, and JARVIS - Freeform, based off of a rp, dum-e too, everyones an ass honestly, im sorry this is so long, implied intersex loki, mentioned intersex loki, mentioned jotun loki, my writing privileges should be taken away, thats just...info, tony is kinda an ass at times maybe, tony was homeless, what do you even put as tags for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:07:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22701469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessSunriseDawn/pseuds/PrincessSunriseDawn
Summary: Loki has to have a conversation with Tony. One that is extremely hard to have. Tony doesn't take it well. Fights happen. Leaving happens. Regret happens.(As to not give anything else away, this is the summary. Also this is my longest fic so far? i dunno how that happened but here we are.)
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 1
Kudos: 49





	a hard conversation to have

“Anthony, I need to speak with you.”

Tony's attention on his tablet was broken by the voice. Loki’s voice. Loki. The inventor had met him a few months ago when he was still on the streets. Five years of having nothing and no one, resulting in almost getting kicked off the street because ‘they needed it for the shot’ and meeting the actor. Apparently Loki had immediately taken a liking to him, calling off security so Tony stayed. He _had_ officially been hired to be in the background and make it ‘authentic’, but once Loki started talking and got… very vulnerable... there ended up being much more going on than that.

Long story short, Tony had been taken in off the street by Loki. At one point, Jarvis had hacked Loki’s phone to talk to the inventor. That all ended with Jarvis sending a limo to pick up Tony (and Loki, as Tony begged him to come with him). Said ride also resulted in Tony finding out that Loki was a god- one who was hiding on earth after being banished for reasons the god wouldn’t say

Eventually, the pair had been dropped off at Stark Tower, where they currently were.

Cut back to the current day. Loki had spoken. Tony looked up, swiveling his chair to face the actor/god.

“Oh, hey. Whatcha need, Lokes?”

“I told you. I need to speak with you.” Loki was fidgeting, more so than usual. 

“Okay…? Well, you’ve got my attention. Go for it. Is it something about that movie you’re working on?”

Loki sighed shakily. “No, not about the movie. Something else. Do you remember how I showed you my… Jotun form?”

Tony gave a confused look but nodded. “Yeah, I do. What about it?”

“You remember how there was… an extra part on me that you… um… used… right?”

“Yeeeaahh, I do. You had lady parts. I remember that.” Tony chuckled and grinned. 

“Do you also happen to remember when you asked if… different species can…”

“Can reproduce. Uh-huh. I remember that too. What’s going on? Why are you-“ Tony’s eyes widened as realization dawned on him. “Wait…”

Loki swallowed thickly, nervously fiddling with his hands.

“But… you don’t have that when you’re like this. I thought that made it so you couldn’t… you know.”

“My external appearance may have changed, but internally everything was and is the same…”

Tony frowned. “Fuck… you’re kidding, right? You’re just joking with me, aren’t you.” He forced a bitter laugh. “Good one. Classic God of Mischief prank, huh?”

Loki’s heart pounded in his chest. His mouth was dry, and he could only simply stand there helplessly.

“Loki, come on. Give it up. Tell me it’s a joke.”

Finally, Loki swallowed thickly and mustered up the courage to speak. His voice was soft, almost broken as he did so.

“I-it’s not…”

Tony let out another bitter, almost pained, laugh. “Lokes, it has to be.”

“Why in the hell would I ever joke about this?”

“Because! This can’t be possible! You got the pill, didn’t you?”

“N-no…”

“What? Yes you did! I swear to god you did. Jarvis, playback footage of him getting the pill.”

“ _Apologies, Sir, but there isn’t any footage. Mr. Loki was not given any sort of pill.”_

“Fucking hell… is it too late now?”

“I-I’m not taking any sort of pill to prevent this. Or doing anything to prevent it for that matter. I’m sorry, but I refuse.”

“What?! Loki, no, you have to. I can’t be a parent.”

“Then you won’t be.” Loki took a shuddery breath. As much as he didn’t want to do this, as much as he one-sidedly loved Tony, he had no other option. “I’ll leave.”

“Leave? What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ll leave. Get out of your life. You’ll never have to deal with me again, as I’m sure you want.” He gave Tony a half-hearted smile as he started towards the door, not looking back after. Even as hot tears started to run down his cheeks, he stared ahead.

“Goodbye, Stark. I should have never come here in the first place.”

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

Tony stared at the doorway as Loki disappeared through it, trying to comprehend. 

After a good few minutes, he spoke again.

“Jarvis… what the hell just happened…?” 

“ _I believe Mr. Loki just left the tower due to your desire to not accept the current situation, Sir._ _That, or he may be overreacting as he has before.”_

“Wait, you mean like… he actually is leaving?”

“ _Sir, he left the building minutes ago.”_

“No… no. He couldn’t have. He wouldn’t do that. Pull up footage of all the rooms.”

A sigh could be heard just before screens flickered on, showing live feed of each of the towers rooms. No movement came from any of them, and nothing but the empty room was displayed.

“ _I must inform you, he’s not here.”_

“He has to be! He wouldn’t actually leave me. H-he wouldn’t!” Tony frantically searched through different feeds on the screens, hoping that one of them would have sudden movement or signs of the other.

“ _Sir, please. Get a hold of yourself.”_

“Jarvis, this has to be a joke too. He wouldn’t leave me like this! He promised he wouldn’t!”

“ _Perhaps that promise didn’t extend into the ‘stay and have your decisions heavily influenced’ category.”_

Tony furrowed his brows, locating the camera in the room and glaring at it. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“ _It simply means that Mr. Loki didn’t want to deal with you telling him to do things to ‘benefit’ you. Perhaps you should have thought of how he felt instead of how you did. I do hate to say it, but being that he is the one carrying, you can’t exactly tell him what to do in terms of that. It’s his child inside of him, just as much as it’s yours.”_

“B-but…”

“ _Sir, he wants to have the child. You can’t take that away from him. That’s why he left…”_

“Why would… I don’t understand.”

“ _I do not understand either. It would have been easier if you hadn’t warded him off by not listening and...well, being a bit selfish. I know you mean well, but not everything is about you, Sir.”_

Tony grimaced, replaying the event in his head. Jarvis was right- his selfishness had made Loki extremely uncomfortable and afraid. 

“Shit…” He murmured.

“ _What was that Sir?”_

“I fucked up… I really fucked up.”

“ _Are you just realizing this?”_

Tony huffed. “Your sass is not appreciated at the moment. Pull up footage of outside the tower. I have to find him…”

“ _Very well, Sir. I’m sure you should have done this minutes ago, but now is better than never.”_

The display of the tower’s rooms was replaced by multiple live feeds of outside the tower. Tony pulled one up, glancing among the crowded sidewalk. 

“Do you think he went far?”

“ _I’m sure if anything, he started walking. May I advise you to walk the streets? It may help. He couldn’t be far yet.”_

Tony clenched his fists. “I… Jarv, send Dummy out. Have him look for him. He’s way faster than me, and Loki… well… he likes Dummy.”

Jarvis sighed. “ _Affirmative, Sir. Sending him out now.”_

_☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆_

Dummy got the message from Jarvis, taking off almost immediately. 

_“Do be careful, Dummy. Don’t get into trouble. Find Mr. Loki… please. That’s the only thing you need to do.”_ Jarvis’s voice said before the machine left the building.

The sidewalk was quite crowded, as it was New York. Dummy chirped sadly, trying to call for the god while doing his best to maneuver through the people. 

Somehow in the midst of the chaos, he eventually found Pepper among everyone. He hurriedly rolled up to her, clawing at her shirt.

“Dummy? What the… what are you doing? Why are you out here?”

Dummy chirped- multiple little chirps that sounded very much worried.

“Dummy, you know I don’t understand you. Where’s Tony? He’s gotta be out here with you. You can’t be out here by yourself.”

Dummy trilled sadly, starting to move away from her all while trying to pull her by her shirt. 

“Stop that. What are you trying to do?”

Another chirp, one of the worried ones. He was desperately trying to get her to follow him.

“Dammit, I’m calling Tony.”

Dummy raised his claw, trilling. Almost to say _‘yes, do that. Good idea’_.

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

“ _Stark Industries. How may I help you?”_ The AI’s voice answered as the call went through.

“Jarvis, where is Tony?” She huffed.

“ _Ah, Ms. Potts. Wonderful to hear from you. Tony is here.”_

“Why the hell is he there when Dummy is out here?”

“ _Oh, you found Dummy? Perfect. You can help him. Have you by chance seen Mr. Loki while out?”_

“Have I seen… no? Why would I have seen him? Isn’t he with Tony?”

“ _Um… no. He is not. He left the tower a while ago.”_

“He… what? Why?”

“ _Personal reasons. I can explain once you find him.”_

“Ugh… of course I have to go find Tony’s damn boytoy.”

“ _Please, Ms. Potts…”_

“Fine, Fine. I’ll go find him.”

She hung up the phone, sighing. Dummy chirped softly, nudging her hand.

“Yeah. I know. Come on, Dummy. We’ve got a superstar to find…”

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

It was almost three hours later when they eventually did find the god. He had made his way to a small cafe, halfway across the city. Pepper managed to spot him from outside the window. It was another few minutes before they actually walked into the building and approached him.

“Loki…”

The god startled upon hearing his name. He turned around quickly, frowning when he saw it was Pepper.

“Oh wonderful…” He huffed. “Hello, Ms. Potts. What brings you here?”

“Take a guess, big shot. What the hell is this about? Why are you in some cafe halfway across the city?”

“I left. For Tony’s sake.”

“For…” She furrowed her brows. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Dummy peeked from behind Pepper’s leg, moving slowly over to Loki. He laid his claw in the god’s lap, chirping sadly as he felt him tense at the contact.

“Dummy… great. Pleasure seeing you here…” He sighed.

Pepper frowned. “Loki. Explain.”

“What is there to explain besides Stark wants me to abort the pregnancy because he doesn’t want to be a parent?”

“...what?”

Loki chuckled bitterly. “You heard me. He wants me to abort the pregnancy. That’s why I left. I...I can’t do that.”

“Wait wait… pregnancy? What?”

“Stark didn’t tell you? He didn’t tell you at all about this?”

“Loki, I’ve been with the press team. I haven’t talked to Tony yet. I only knew to find you because Dummy was out here looking for you.”

Loki looked down at the claw in his lap, eyes widening. “Looking for...me?”

“Jarvis sent him out after you. Apparently Jarvis is worried or something.”

“Worried…? I… I don’t understand. These are Stark’s creations. Stark isn’t worried about me, so why would they be?”

Dummy chirped sadly, nudging Loki.

“What..? You can’t possibly mean that, Dummy.”

Another chirp.

“Honest?”

One final sad sounding chirp. Loki sighed and pet the bot gently, then looked up at Pepper. 

“Pepper, you said you haven’t spoken to Stark?”

“No, I haven’t. Why?” She raised a brow.

“Dummy says that he’s the one who had Jarvis send him out.”

“Wait so… Tony had Jarvis send Dummy to find you?”

“Apparently…”

Pepper stared at the robot for a moment, attempting to process. “Huh… that’s odd.”

“Odd..? How so?”

“Tony’s never sent Dummy, or anyone for that matter, after someone before. You must really be special.”

Loki scowled. “Or he thinks he can ‘apologize’ so he can use me for sex again.”

“That’s what you think this is? Him just wanting you for sex? Look, I thought that before too, but it’s something different. He’s never kept someone around this long just for sex.”

Dummy trilled sadly in agreement, nudging Loki again. 

“I… no. No, that can’t be true. If he cared about anything besides sex, he would have stopped me from leaving.”

Pepper groaned. “Dammit. He’s bad with emotions. I’m calling Jarvis. He’s the one you’ll listen to, isn’t he?”

Loki rolled his eyes, gently petting Dummy. “I can’t make promises. Can I believe something created by a man who wanted me to do something like that?”

“Loki, I’m sure he didn’t mean it. People say things they don’t mean when they don’t know what else to say.”

Loki huffed. “Norns, you act like you understand what’s going on. Fine, call Jarvis.” 

_Call Jarvis so I get to know how Tony really feels_ , he wanted to say. But he refrained. He had already gone overboard with his reaction to being hunted down.

“ _Ms. Potts. Pleasure receiving a call from you again,”_ Jarvis answered when the call went through.

“Not Pepper. Using her phone.”

“ _Pardon? Wait, Mr. Loki? Is that you?”_

“Yes. Now, why the hell was my drinking so rudely interrupted by those two?”

“ _Drinking? Mr. Loki, are you intoxica-“_

Loki cut him off quickly. “Tea. It was tea. I’m not drinking my damn problems away. Last time I checked, my name wasn’t Anthony ’drinks himself practically to death whenever something mildly inconvenient happens’ Stark.” 

“ _Ah, well. My apologies.”_

“Oh yes, your apology is so _definitely_ accepted. Now let’s answer my question, hmm?” Loki sounded aggravated, wanting nothing more than to get his answer and hang up.

“ _Right. Sir had me send Dummy out to find you. Miraculously, he bumped into Ms. Potts while he was out there, who in turn called me, and was given the task to find you.”_

“Sir…” Loki groaned. “Stark really did make you send him. Why?”

“ _He’s worried about you. I told him to do it himself, but I don’t think the confrontation that would ensue was something he wanted to deal with. So he simply said to send Dummy, being that you-according to Sir- like him.”_

“So he’s ‘worried’, but not worried enough to come find me himself. Wonderful. Just great.”

“ _I think it may have been to not further upset you, Mr. Loki.”_

“Ugh. Fine. If he has a decent conversation with me when I get back, that is _IF_ I go back, perhaps we can come to an agreement so he stops worrying and I don’t have to deal with this guilt.”

“ _Guilt? Mr. Loki, you shouldn’t be feeling guilty. I don’t believe you did anything. You both happen to be a bit overreactive, and that’s all this may be. It’s hard to process these things, and Sir doesn’t usually think before he speaks.”_

“Oh, yes. Make this about him. ‘He doesn’t think before he speaks. He didn’t mean it. Come back because-”

“ _Mr. Loki.”_

The actor sighed, then spoke in a soft voice. “Yes, Jarvis?”

“ _Please… come back. Just for a short while. Long enough so that if Sir doesn’t fix this, I can at least send you back to your set by cab.”_

“That… sounds ideal. I… I suppose I could come back. A cab ride to the set does seem like a better idea than wandering and hoping that I’ll get back.”

“ _Good call, Mr. Loki. Have Ms. Potts and Dummy bring you back. Would you like anything to be waiting for you once you get back?”_

“No.. I’ll be fine.”

“ _Alright… I shall inform Sir. Be safe on your way back. I shall see you when you return.”_

“Uh-huh...” Was all Loki said before hanging up. He handed Pepper her phone back, then huffed.

“We have to return to the tower.”

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

The cab ride back to Stark Tower was- to say the least- the most god awful, awkward experience Pepper had ever had. The entire time, Loki stared out the window, lost in his thoughts. Dummy, who had just happened to fit into the cab, kept his claw in the god’s lap and made soft noises- the only thing breaking the silence that had filled the vehicle.

Once they arrived at the tower after that horrible hour, Pepper sighed in relief. She tapped Loki’s shoulder, causing him to make a noise and bringing him out of his daze.

“We’re here.” 

“We are?”

“Yeah. As much as you don’t want to be, we’re here. Come on. Let’s get in there.”

Loki took a shaky breath.

“Okay.”

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

“ _Ms. Potts, Mr. Loki. Welcome back. Good to see you actually did come back.”_

Loki looked up to the ceiling, still after all the time he spent here unsure of where to look when speaking to the AI.

“Yes. Hello Jarvis,” he spat, crossing his arms. Behind the aggressive approach, he was terrified. He didn’t want to be here. Not when Tony was upset over his decisions. And certainly not when he was upset with Tony for that reason.

He wanted to go back to his trailer at the set, to crawl into the bed and be ignored by everyone around him again. He wanted to, to put this simply, disappear.

But at the moment he couldn’t. The AI wanted him to try and talk to Tony, even if he didn’t want to himself. Why was he listening to an AI anyways? This was stupid. Loki swallowed thickly, feeling himself shake slightly from nervousness. Pepper must have noticed, as she was staring at him.

“You okay?”

“I’m… fine,” he managed to squeak. His voice was weakened from the overwhelming anxiety. This was not going to end well.

Pepper placed her hand on the god’s shoulder, trying to comfort him. “Hey... Come on. I’ll be there. I won’t leave, okay? Dummy… he’ll come too. You’ll be okay, Loki.”

“Okay…” Loki's eyes met hers, and he gave a weak smile.

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

Pepper took the initiative to knock on Tony’s bedroom door, letting Loki linger behind her. His nerves had shot through the roof as they neared the room, and now he was a full-on nervous wreck.

“P-Pepper… Maybe I should just go.”

“Oh, hell no you won’t. I’m not walking halfway across the city to find you again. You’ll be-“

She was cut off as the door was opened by a heavily disheveled Tony Stark.

“Pep! Hey! What are you doing here? I thought you were with the press team!”

“Tony… drop the act. Jarvis had to have warned you by now.”

“Warned me? What do you mean warned me?”

“Warned you about why I’m here, Tony. Don’t play dumb.”

Tony grimaced and gripped to the bottom of his shirt, clutching it out of nervousness.

“Fine. I won’t.”

“If I let him in here, you better act rationally. Don’t yell at him. And don’t be an ass.”

“I know! I know… Jarvis gave me the rundown before you got here.”

“Good..” She turned around, facing the mage. “Loki, come on. You’re alright, I’ll be in here too.”

It took a bit of coaxing from Pepper for the god to eventually enter the room. Dummy followed him in, chirping softly and staying at his side.

“Loki…” Tony murmured upon seeing him. It had only been a few hours at most, but it felt like years to him because of the insane amount of worrying.

“Loki,” He said, a bit louder than before. The mage brought his gaze up, meeting the inventor’s.

“Yes…?”

Tony started to move closer, cautiously and slowly, as to not cause the other to panic.

“You’re… you’re okay.”

Loki stepped back as Tony came towards him, swallowing thickly.

“S-sure. You could say that.”

Tony stopped moving when Loki backed up. The last thing he wanted was to make the other any more uncomfortable. He looked him in the eyes, frowning.

“I’m sorry for earlier, Loki. I wasn’t… hearing that scared the shit out of me. I never meant to hurt you… I didn’t know what else to do apparently.”

“I-it’s fine…” Loki broke eye contact, looking anywhere but at Tony.

“It’s not fine. I can tell it’s not.” The billionaire sighed, turning and walking to his bed. He sat at the edge, burying his face in his hands.

“Look. It wasn’t my intention. Is there any way I could even start to make it up to you?”

“P-promise me that you’ll let me keep it and that you’ll help me. That’s how you could make it up to me.”

Tony looked up and furrowed his brows. “Loki… the kid deserves a better dad. I can’t promise you that…”

Loki blinked hard, his eyes meeting Tony’s again. “Pardon?”

“You heard me. I can’t do that. I can’t let a kid grow up with a shitty dad.”

“That’s what this is? You’re afraid you’ll be a bad father?”

“Well, no. It’s not just that… it’s a lot of stuff. I’m not mentally prepared for something like that. I’ve got way more to worry about at the moment than a kid, you know.”

Loki glared at him. “As if I don’t as well. At least I’m willing to change that and make an effort, unlike you.”

Tony glared right back. “You know, what if it doesn’t even survive when it’s born? Huh? What if… what if it’s some sort of freak since we’re different species? Some sort of freak half-human, half whatever the hell you are? What if it dies because it’s half whatever?”

Loki winced at the usage of ‘freak’. He had been trying, really trying, to keep this civil. But that was the last straw. He snapped at Tony, his emotions getting the better of him.

“Do you _really_ think that it being part Jotun would do that? Do you not think that, oh, perhaps it could die because it’s half human? Don’t throw me under the bus and say that _my_ species is what would cause that.”

Tony scowled at the god. “As if it being human would fuck it up.”

“You know what? This is exactly why I left the first time! It’s always about you, isn’t it? ‘I’m a human, that’s not the problem. You’re a disgusting monster so that means you’re the problem! You being one is going to ruin everything as per usual.’”

The inventor stared at the mage, furrowing his brows. “I never said that.”

“Oh, but you implied it. And to think I _believed_ you when you said that me being Jotun wasn’t a problem.”

“Loki-“

“No. This was an idiotic idea. I knew you wouldn’t see it the way I do. You don’t care.”

“ _Mr. Loki, I-“_

 _“_ Butt out, Jarvis. This doesn’t concern you,” he hissed. “I’ve been wrapped around your finger for far too long, Stark. Every time I get my hopes up with you, you manage to crush them. I really thought that we could work this out and not have _this_ as a result. But no. You want to be a selfish prick who could care less about another living being.”

“I never said I didn’t care. I only said-“

“You only said that you couldn’t be a parent. And that it’s going to be a freak because it’s mine. Well guess what, Stark. I guess I’ll go raise my freak child on my own then,” Loki growled.

“I can’t believe I let a damn AI persuade me to come back here. This was worthless.” He then mumbled to himself, clenching his fists as he stormed out of the room.

“ _Sir.”_ Jarvis piped up. _“I advise you to make this right, and fast.”_

“What am I supposed to do? Piss him off and upset him more? I can’t do this, Jarvis. You know I can’t.”

“ _Sir, you need to stop being so defensive and heartless. You need to talk to him. Truly talk to him.”_

“I don’t know how to…”

“ _Well then start knowing how. Stop acting like that. Stop hurting him and listen. I know you don’t want it to end like this. He’s going to need you. He and the child.”_

“Jarvis, what am I supposed to do? You want me to agree and settle down? You want me to get into a relationship?” 

“ _Is that what you want, Sir?”_

Tony went quiet. Was that what he wanted? He had told Loki before that he didn't want a relationship-but that had been a while ago. When Loki had mentioned something when he thought them dancing in Tony’s lab was meant as a couple thing. A couple…

Tony shook out of his thoughts. Was this _really_ what he wanted, though? Sure, he had thought about being with Loki in that sense on more than one occasion, but so many things could go wrong.

For one, Tony didn’t want to hurt him by accident. If he could hurt him with this, it was way more than easy to hurt him with anything else.

Two, Tony wasn’t good with emotions. And Loki was an extremely emotional person. Wasn’t part of being in a relationship helping the other emotionally? The inventor couldn’t remember. It had been years since his last failed attempt at something like this. He just wanted what was best for Loki.

But there was something about that damn raven-haired actor. Something that wouldn’t let Tony let him go. Yeah. Tony wanted this. Tony _really_ wanted this. 

“Jarv?”

“ _Yes sir?”_

“This is what I want. Can you help me get it, though? Please?”

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

Pepper had followed Loki as he left the room, making sure he wouldn’t go far. There was no way that what had happened would be the end. The two would be miserable if they didn’t make up and get over this, and it would only be worse if Loki left again.

“Hey, Loki?” She called out, on his tail as he walked the hall.

“What do you want? Don’t you have to talk to the press about how great he is or something?”

“Uh… no. I need to talk to you, actually.”

“Why? Do you need to hurt me with your words too?”

Pepper frowned. “No. I want to make sure you’re okay and talk to you about all of this.”

Loki stopped and turned around, staring at her. “What else is there for you to talk about with this? Are you going to try and convince me to abort it too?”

“What? No! No, of course not! I would never try and do that.”

There was a change in emotions from Loki suddenly, like those words had unlocked something from him. His expression softened, then changed to one of both sadness, and a bit of hope.

“Fine. Let’s talk.”

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

Pepper, in all her caring glory, took Loki into one of the guest bedrooms so they could converse. Loki sat on the bed, sighing as he watched her lock the door. Once she was done, she turned towards him.

“Alright. It’s just us now, okay? We can talk about this like adults, because I know that’s what you want.”

Loki simply nodded in agreement. That was exactly what he wanted.

“Listen. I know that it’s not easy telling him this. Tony tends to be a little… okay, more of _a lot_ worse with big things and emotions.”

“Yes.. but why does that mean that aborting it is the only option in his mind?”

“I think it has something to do with his own father. Maybe he doesn’t want to become him. I’m not sure.”

Loki mumbled something to himself, then looked up at Pepper. “Why won’t you let me leave?”

“I can’t let you. I know how devastated you’ll be if you leave and never see Tony again. I know how much you love him, Loki.”

“I-I…”

“And as much as you don’t believe it, he loves you too. He’s terrible at expressing it, but he really does. That’s why he wanted you back here. He knows he is wrong, and that he’s being an ass. He wants to make it up to you, even if it doesn’t seem that way.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“He sent _Dummy_ after you. He doesn’t send anyone after anybody. You’re special.”

“As if that means anything.”

“Loki, please. Trust me on this. I know Tony better than most people. I can tell he cares about you more than you think he does.”

“Then why does he want that? If he cares about me why would he want what I don’t?”

“He’s scared, Loki. Just like you are. He just expresses his fear differently than you do.”

“Pepper, you can’t be serious. You heard him. How am I supposed to accept an apology from someone who said I’m a freak? I believed him when he said otherwise! Pepper, he lied to me!”

“You’re overreacting again, Loki.” She sat next to him and placed a hand on his back, rubbing it gently to hopefully comfort him.

“He didn’t mean it. That wasn’t directed towards you. It was…” She sighed. “It was about the baby. Was he harsh with using that word? Yes. Did he mean it? No.”

“I don’t get it. How are you so confident in that?”

“I’ve dealt with him for quite a while, Loki. I know how he is.”

“ _Pardon the interruption, but I have news.”_

Loki looked up at the ceiling, raising a brow. “News..?”

“ _Affirmative. I have talked to Sir and he wants to try one more time to talk.”_

Loki tensed. “That sounds like a recipe for a third disaster, Jarvis.”

“ _Believe me, Mr. Loki. I’ve talked to him. I’ll cut in if things start to revert, and we’ll work it out.”_

“The fact I trust you on this is saying a lot. Fine.”

“ _Wonderful. Ms. Potts, if you could unlock the door please.”_

Pepper rolled her eyes and stood up, patting Loki reassuringly on the shoulder before moving to the door. She unlocked it and opened it, letting Tony into the room. Immediately, the inventor looked to Loki and started talking.

“Look. I know you don’t want to hear from me, but…” Tony huffed. “Loki, I’m really sorry. I did it again. You really need to slap me when I do stuff like that.”

Loki watched him, chuckling bitterly at the last comment. “I’d love to do so, you prick.”

“Hey, rude. I know you’re mad but name-calling hurts.” Tony pouted.

“What wonderful bullshit you spout.”

“ _Mr. Loki.”_

“Fine,” The god grumbled. “Sorry.”

“Apology… if that even was one… accepted.” Tony made his way over to the bed, then sat on it- keeping a tiny bit of distance from the god.

“So…” He started. “A baby, huh?”

Loki frowned, scooting away. “Yes, a baby. God, do you not listen?”

“No, no. I do. I know there’s a baby. Just trying to spark conversation about it so I can talk to you.”

“What is there to talk about? Seriously. I’m pretty sure I already know how you feel about this whole situation.”

“No, you don’t. You have no idea how I feel about this, especially now that Jarvis had a conversation with me.” Slowly, Tony moved his hand and placed it over top of Loki’s. The god tensed and glared at him.

“What are you doing?” 

“Pretty sure I’m holding your hand. What? Do you not want me to?”

Loki gritted his teeth, then sighed deeply. The physical contact broke him. Even after everything that had happened, he really was still wrapped around the billionaire’s finger. “I… don’t have a problem with it I guess.”

“Don’t lie. I won’t if you don’t want me to touch you.”

Loki groaned and rolled his eyes. “Will you shut up? I said I’m fine with it. Affection is the least you could give me to try and, as you said, ‘make up for it’. And besides, talking about this affection isn’t why you’re here. You’re supposed to be here to talk about a different thing.” 

“Hey…” A guilty look was on Tony’s face now. “Cut me some slack, Lokes. I don’t want you upset with me anymore, that’s why I’m doing this.”

“Ugh. Get on with it, will you? Are you here to try and make me get rid of it again?”

Tony ran his thumb over Loki’s hand. “Um… no. I’m not. If you really want to have a kid, I can’t stop you from that.”

Loki blinked hard, then squinted at him. “Who are you and where is the real Stark?”

Tony chuckled softly. “I am the real ‘Stark’, Loki. I thought I said Jarvis talked to me? Like… talked sense into me.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, but I am. I thought it over, trust me. I think I can do it. You’ll need help, I’m sure.”

“No shit I’ll need help. As if _I_ could raise a child on my own. You really are an idiot, you know.”

Tony rolled his eyes. So the actor wanted to act like an ass in retaliation, did he? Well, that wouldn’t do. Tony decided humor and affection would be his go to in trying to make the other feel better throughout this conversation.

“Wow, thanks Loki. Been told that thousands of times. You saying it truly flatters me, though.”

Loki scoffed. “It wasn’t flattery, Stark. Why on earth would I compliment you?”

Tony frowned. That little remark hurt, and it was obvious that it did. The hurt in his eyes was visible as he glared at Loki.

“Alright, enough. I know it wasn’t. Don’t be such a dick.”

“So don’t act like how you were acting? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“For fucks sake. Loki, I’m sorry for that.”

“Are you?”

“Yes, dammit! Now will you please let me continue with the other thing? Jesus fuck, I’m trying to tell you that I think I can make the promise you wanted but you sure as hell are acting like that’s not what you want.”

Loki’s eyes widened. “Promise? As in the promise to let me have it and to help me take care of it?”

“Well, that’s the only promise you brought up so… yeah.”

Loki pulled his hand away from under Tony’s, bringing it to his chest. He stared at the other, suddenly looking terrified and lost. “Okay, this is some sick joke. You told me you wouldn’t. Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?”

“Woah, hey. Not a joke, Lokes. Like you said when I thought you were joking, I would never joke about something like this.”

Tony reached for Loki, refraining from just straight up pulling him to his chest to hold him and comfort him. Clearly, the mage was scared and Tony simply wanted to show him he meant no harm.

“Loki, I promise you. This isn’t a joke. I mean it. I talked to Jarvis and I think I can do it. For you.”

“For me…?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah. I want to make it up to you, and if that’s what you want me to do I’ll do it. I’ve been way too much of a douche to you… this is the least I could do.”

“Fine. Although…” Loki furrowed his brows. “What exactly did you talk to Jarvis about, besides letting me stay and helping me? What could have changed your mind on all of this?”

Tony couldn’t hold back a sudden noise of surprise. He felt his face heat up, then he laughed awkwardly.

“Uh… I dunno if you really want to know that.”

Loki, suddenly not so terrified anymore because he caught the slight blush creeping on Tony’s face, looked to him with wide eyes. 

“Pardon? Oh no, I do want to know. Tell me.”

Tony groaned. “I don’t think it’s the right time to mention this.”

The god crossed his arms in front of his chest, pouting.

“Tell me, Anthony.”

Tony’s heart fluttered upon hearing the other call him ‘Anthony’ again instead of ‘Stark’. He had done something right. Loki wasn’t... well, he hoped Loki wasn’t… as upset with him anymore.

“Lokes, seriously. You don’t want to know. It’s too soon. Especially after this.”

“Anthony Stark, so help me. You better tell me.”

“Fine!” Tony didn’t have a moment to realize what he was doing, so his mouth kept running. “I talked to him about wanting to make this right and to make this… whatever we have… into a real relationship.”

Loki blinked. “I beg your pardon? A relationship? Like…romantic relationship?”

Tony nodded.

“Why ever is that? Not even a day ago you were telling me to rid of our child that’s in me.”

“Stop. Stop it. Don’t make me feel any more guilty.”

“Apologies. I’m just… confused. First that, and the time you told me you weren’t looking for that. What on earth changed your mind?”

“Well, _our_ kid is gonna need both parents. I figured, hey. If I’m gonna be spending a long time with you, I may as well turn it into what I want and make life a lot easier and… probably better. Except, if you don’t want this anymore I totally understand. I won’t force you into things just because I want them.”

Loki had to take a moment to process. First off, had Tony said _‘our_ child’? As in meaning it was both of theirs? Well. Big improvement going from ‘the baby’ to ‘our baby’. Second, Tony was telling him he wanted to turn this into a relationship. Something Loki had so desperately wanted. Had Pepper really meant it when she said Tony loved him? Only one way to find out…

“Wait, you actually want to be with me?”

“Why do you think I sent Dummy after you? Loki, since I met you I haven’t been able to live without you.”

Loki blushed, not able to hold back a small smile. ”Oh, is that so?”

Tony smiled. There he was, the Loki he remembered from before the ordeal. 

“Yeah, it is so. I… I like you, Lo. I really do.” Tony felt bad limiting it to ‘like’ instead of ‘love’, as he wasn’t ready to express the sentiment Loki had before. Fortunately, the god didn’t seem to mind ‘love’ not being used. Maybe it was best to limit it to ‘like’ for the moment anyways-especially after what had just gone down.

“I like you as well, Anthony. Although, are you sure that you truly feel this way? I wouldn’t want to be a burden on you. I know I can be a bit… tough to deal with sometimes.”

Tony rolled his eyes, scooting over and wrapping his arms around Loki. He pulled him close, which caused the already blushing god to blushed harder. 

“Listen. I get that- except you wouldn’t be a burden. You know that. If anything I would be. I’m kind of absolutely terrible at these things, but I’m willing to… ya know. Give it a shot and change. God, that's sappy as shit. You see what you’ve done to me?”

“Hey, I didn’t do anything!” Loki huffed.

“Metaphorically. I think… whatever. Besides the point. I’m like, eighty-three percent sure you know what I meant by that.”

“Eighty-three?” Loki furrowed his brows. “That’s so stupidly specific.”

“Well, I am just an idiot after all.” 

“Not true. You know I didn’t mean that, I was just upset.” The god frowned and nuzzled Tony's neck. The first sign of affection from him in hours. Tony probably could have cried right then and there.

“I know you were… and I’m still really sorry for making you upset. Seriously, that slapping thing I said? Do it. You have full permission to slap the shit out of me if I hurt you like that again.”

“How about we talk instead, hmm? Like the adults we are? No violence or slapping, as when I’m not pissed at you I really don’t want to harm you.” 

Tony chuckled, running his hand through the god’s hair. Almost immediately, Loki relaxed and melted into him. Tony grinned, taking note. Of course. Affection would be a big key to most things with Loki. 

“Okay, no violence then. Conversation... I’m sure I can do that.”

Loki hummed, then pulled away from Tony. “Speaking of conversation, we should probably have one relating to the media. You know as soon as they find out about this, they won’t leave us alone right?”

Shit. Tony had completely forgotten about that part. 

Pepper piped up at the mention of media. “I think I can deal with that for you. I’m already dealing with the media and press with your other problem, Tony, so I’m sure I can cover this too.” 

“Wait, you’d be willing to?”

She shrugged. “Why not? I'm sure I can deal better with this than with the other thing. I got you covered.”

Loki looked over to Pepper. “Do you think you could also tell everyone at the set? If that’s alright, of course.”

“Yeah, I can tell your movie guys about it too. Maybe they’ll let you take the time off so you don’t have to shoot during this.”

“Oh, I hope so.” Loki grinned. It seemed as if things had settled back down. Granted, things seemed a little more awkward, but Tony was determined to fix that too. He turned to the god.

“Hey, Lokes?”

“Hmm?”

“You wanna go on a date?”

Loki felt his heartbeat speed up inside his chest. Tony had never asked about dates before.

“Oh um…” He blinked. What was he supposed to say? 

Tony smiled softly. “You can say no, you know. I get it if you aren’t ready for that.”

“What? No! I’m… I think I’m ready. I was just surprised is all. You’ve never asked to go out with me.” 

“Yeah, I know. I’m an asshole. We kind of figured that out today.”

“Shut up. You’re an idiot, but not an asshole.” Loki paused for a second. “Well, you’re not _always_ an asshole.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Big shocker. We all knew that. But that’s beside the point. What do you say? Do you wanna go?”

Loki hesitated for a moment. He wanted to go, truly. But what if this was just compensation for what Tony put him through? And what if it wasn’t? God, it was conflicting. Eventually, he made up his mind.

“Yes. I want to go.”

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

“Where on earth are we even going?” The actor asked as Tony walked with him down the street. They had been out for a while now, almost 20 minutes. Not that either of them minded that, though. 

“You’ll see. I want it to be a surprise.”

“Oh dear lord, I swear if the date is to a Planned Parenthood..”

“Jesus fuck. No! It’s not to anywhere of that sort. Fucks sake, we _just_ got done with that whole thing.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “It was a joke.”

“Well for the first actual joke of today, that sure didn’t seem like one. Don’t joke about that.”

“My apologies. I had no idea something you previously suggested couldn’t be used as a joke.”

Tony simply frowned at the other. “Yeah I know I said it before, but let’s not mention that. I’m really sorry. Stuff changed. I already feel guilty as hell…”

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry. No more, I promise.”

“Good.” Tony gave Loki a playful pout before reaching for his hand. “Can I?”

Loki shrugged, moving his own hand to hold Tony’s. “Can you?”

The billionaire beamed, entwining his fingers with the actors. They’d still have a long way to go to get back to ‘normal’, but this was a start. And Tony was all for it. It meant he could show a softer, more affectionate and loving side of himself- one he neglected to show Loki before. He could prove he didn’t just want Loki for sex, and he was honestly a little excited about it. He had a chance to potentially turn this into what they both wanted.

“Anthony?”

Tony turned his face to the god, raising a brow. “Yeah?”

“As much as I suddenly enjoy walking with you, how much further do we have until we get where we need to go?”

“Not much further. Just around the next corner.” Tony grinned. “I think you’re gonna love where we’re going.”

“Is it just some cliche fancy restaurant? If so, we’re a bit underdressed.”

“Nope! Not a restaurant at all. Something else.”

“What else could be a date place?”

Tony chuckled as they turned the corner, then stopped in front of one of the buildings. Loki furrowed his brows and looked up at the sign, his eyes then widening as he read it.

“You have got to be kidding me. A _baby store_?”

“Yup.”

“Why exactly this?”

“Well, we have to get stuff to be prepared for the baby sooo. Figured it would be a good place to take you as, one- a date. And two, a way to show that I’ll actually be supporting you and… all that. God, does that make sense? Was… was this a dumb idea?”

Loki shook his head. “Not dumb at all. I’ve never heard of people going to a baby store as a date, but there’s a first time for everything I suppose.” He sighed fondly, squeezing Tony’s hand gently. He was probably the happiest Tony had seen him all day. “I can’t believe this. This is so sweet…”

“That mean I’m doing good as a potential partner?” Tony smirked.

Loki returned the smirk. “Don’t get your hopes up yet, Stark.” 

“Heyyy, no. Not the ‘Stark’ thing again.” Tony's smirk faded into a frown. “I’m sorry if I upset you saying that.”

“Anthony, darling. It wasn’t meant as an upset ‘Stark’. More to tease or something. I’m sorry.” 

The inventor's heart was fluttering again. ‘Darling.’ Loki had called him darling. Man, he really was on a roll. But this wasn’t about him. What mattered was that Loki was getting comfortable being around him again. Even to a point where the pet names were starting to return.

“Ah, right. My bad.” He smiled, then looked to the doors of the shop. “Geez, we’ve been standing around. Wanna get going in there?”

Loki nodded. “I’d love to go in. Too bad we don’t know what it is yet, though. Wouldn’t shopping for tiny clothes be so much fun?”

Tony thought about that for a second. Honestly, that idea didn’t sound too bad. He’d definitely be taking Loki to do that once they found out things gender-wise. 

“Yeah, that would be fun. Remind me to do that with you.” The inventor grinned.

“Wait, you actually would want to?” Loki sounded genuinely surprised by Tony’s comment.

“Of course I would want to!” He remarked as he walked into the store, Loki following behind and holding his hand. “I think that would be great. You’ll let me spoil them, right?”

Loki stared at him with wide eyes. He was dumbfounded. “ _Spoil_ them _?_ God, where is the real Tony? The one who definitely would not have asked that.”

The inventor rolled his eyes. “I am the real Tony. You know that. Aren’t you happy I’m excited to be a dad?”

“Oh, of course I am. I’m extremely happy, darling. But at the same time, I also don’t want you acting like this if you aren’t truly excited…”

“Trust me, Lokes. This isn’t an act. I’m surprisingly genuinely excited. Scared as hell, yeah…. but excited to prove I’ll be a better father than my own.”

Loki shot him a look.“That’s the reason?”

“That and I wanna be a good dad for both the baby’s and your sake. Can’t be a bad one when I’m sure I can be a good one.”

“That makes… not much sense. But that’s very sweet of you.” Loki smiled and leaned close to Tony, giving his cheek a gentle peck. Tony couldn’t contain his grin at that point. 

“I’m trying my best,” Tony said, pulling Loki by the hand down one of the aisles. “So, Uh… what do we need to get?”

Loki glanced at the shelves, then turned back to Tony and shrugged. “Haven’t a clue. Maybe we should have researched before waltzing in here with no knowledge.”

“I was trying to be nice! Gimme a break, babe.” 

Tony’s eyes went wide as he realized what he had just done. Loki’s staring and furious blushing didn’t help the situation. Jesus, how could he have been that stupid? Tony really was in for it now.

“‘B-babe’? Is… that what you just said? Did you just call me that?”

Tony swallowed thickly. “Yeah. Sorry. It… literally just happened by accident. My brain didn’t catch up with my mouth.”

“Though I appreciate the sentiment, I don’t know if I can handle a pet name like that yet. I do apologize.”

“You’re still afraid this is an act, aren’t you. That’s why you don’t like it.”

Loki went quiet and looked to the ground, then nodded.

“Aw, Lokes…” Tony frowned. He had no idea if this was alright, but he lifted Loki’s chin up, then pressed a gentle kiss to the god’s lips. Loki’s face went red immediately, causing Tony to smile apologetically. “Sorry if you didn’t want that, you can hit me. I just didn’t know how else to prove to you this isn’t an act.”

“I know I shouldn’t fall straight back in love with you, especially after everything today, but damn you. You make it impossible. I hate how idiotic you make me, making me fall for you again…”

“If it helps, I fell for you too.”

Loki rolled his eyes. He needed to shut up before he really went full lovestruck, hopeless idiot in public. “A baby store is not the place for this conversation. We’ll continue this later at home.”

“Okay, sounds like a plan. Best to be sappy in private, huh?”

“Yes, exactly.” Loki chuckled softly. “Now, could we look at a few things while we’re here? I think I have a vague idea of what we may need.”

“Sure! Of course we can look. Lead the way, Lolo.”

Loki smiled and made his way over to look at cribs, Tony following close behind. The inventor eyed the said various cribs, scoffing. 

“I could make a way better one.” 

Loki turned to him, brow raised. “Oh? Is that so?” 

Tony hummed. “I could. Oooh, can I? Can I build one for them? Would you be okay with that?”

“I’d be more than okay with that, Anthony. Gods, you’re really upping the sweet factor aren’t you?”

“Yeah, guess so.” Tony grinned. “Just wanna make you happy, is all.” 

Loki laughed softly. “You’re adorable, Anthony. By the way, I think I can wait a bit until we need to buy this stuff. Want to go home?” 

“You just want to go and be sappy don’t you.”

“Little bit. You’ve turned me into a hopeless dumbass, you know. Also I may just really want to hear you say sweet things to me. Especially since you mean them… and it will be to make up for earlier.” Loki smirked, pulling Tony towards the exit of the store.

Tony simply laughed and let Loki drag him. “Yeah. Let’s go do that.”

He was more than thrilled to comply and say those types of things once they were in the privacy of their own home. Of course, he’d have to make sure to assure Loki that he meant them, but that was alright. At least he even had this chance to do so. 

Tony sighed contently as they walked the street, heading home. Everything was going to be alright.


End file.
